Hello again, it's been a while..

Well as those who might be actually reading my blog (I'm still not sure if anyone is actually paying attention but that's fine maybe some day maybe...) I took a little blogging break. I've decided not to take a photo every day. It's just not really possible for me to really get as much from that project as I would want. I don't want to stress myself out running around my home to take a picture of a wine glass because that's all I can think of to take a picture that day. I think the 365 project should be a challenge, doing something different, trying something new, trying other styles... etc. With how much I work and with starting school again I don't really have the time to devote to daily photo assignments. So I want to try a more weekly photo project, Project52.

I am in the middle of reading The Fasttrack Photographer by Dane Sanders which I can't even begin to explain how inspiring and just amazing this book is! I can't wait for 2.0. A section in the book has a series of questions which I have found really soul searching and important. Part of being a photographer is selling yourself... well how do you do that if you don't really know who you are. I hadn't "checked in" with myself in a while, probably since high school and although that was just 5 years ago there is A LOT of changes between 17 and 22. Who is Laura Lynn Brooks? I am going to share some of the questions and my answers, maybe you will join me too.

Who am I?

I'm a lover, a dreamer and determined person. I love culture and art. I love people, the unique individuality in each person. I have passion and put my full heart in to everything I do. I love to listen and help people with their problems. I am a giver to the point where I am often taken advantage of but luckily that has never stopped me and hopefully never will from giving to other people. Giving helps fulfill me. I am a hard worker that goes with my determination.

Not a winner = Failure?

Today I applied for my third scholarship in the past few months. I have been amazed and encouraged by all the opportunities I have found lately. Like I said previously I am not going to give up, NEVER SAY DIE! But if I haven't won yet does that make me a failure? I like to think not, but I would be lying if a part of me didn't feel like a failure when I don't win.

This time I applied for the WPPI Hy Sheanin Memorial Scholarship. The Wedding & Portraiture Photographer International holds probably the largest convention in Las Vegas every March with lectures, classes, thousands of people and a trade show. I first found out about the convention from a wedding photography book I checked out in the library then as I started to blog stalk and follow other photographers on twitter I noticed that anyone who's anyone in the WHOLE wedding industry is attending WPPI conference. The memorial scholarship is only open to beginning photographers giving them like a VIP pass to the entire trade show and classes (many of which have already filled up during early registration), hotel and airfare for the entire week of the convention!!! I am determined to go to this convention regardless of winning a scholarship or not, because as I learned from the Photo Plus Expo even if I do not get the opportunity to attend some of the wonderful classes taught by some of the worlds most leading photographers even spending a day at the trade show is incredibly valuable! This is where I met Mera Koh and finally got to look, feel all the other parts that come with being a professional photographer besides just taking pictures.

Part of my application was to pick 10 photographs. This was actually not the hardest part. As you can probably see I do enjoy writing so writing a 50-100 words was more challenging than playing favorites!

Webbles Wobble but THEY WON'T FALL DOWN!

Yesterday the Soar scholarship was announced, an amazing opportunity given by Mera Koh to three woman. The winners received a Sony camera, lenses, flash, adobe products, business counseling, workshops, a website.... the list was endless and although it had no value stated on the website, it was priceless. 260 woman entered 2 minute videos explaining why they needed the Soar scholarship. I did not win. NOT WINNING SUCKS! Of course I'm disappointed, I wanted to win more than anything. To have all the tools, advice, guidance handed to me in a box with a pretty bow (quite literally the winners were given their camera's in a box with a bow) would have been beyond words AMAZING! I cried. But now it's time to move on. I know more than most you don't always get what you want but you pick yourself up and fight tooth and nail for your dreams! I didn't need this to be a photographer. I will still be a photographer.

What amazed me and inspired me was all the support from my friends. My friend Jon actually helped me make my video and text me through out the day to see if I had won. Many of my coworkers had me in their thoughts and had nothing but encouraging comments all over my facebook. Their comments lifted me up and reminded me that I do have my own little fan club cheering me on. Thank you! I do lack confidence and I needed a boost.

Today I finished my Wedding Wire page. Free advertising is my best friend. Check out my page and hopefully it will help me get some business!

On the fast track

Last night I received my FREE copy of Dane Sander's book... Fast Track Photographer, so I started reading it today. Already I LOVE it. I haven't gotten past chapter one but I'm excited for the pages and knowledge to come. I have been dying to buy the book for a while now as well as enroll in the [b] school... but I never have the money. Story of my life! I actually won the book from Twitter, I am embracing and loving social media! I just love that this book is not about f-stops and lighting, that's important but I've learned the basics of that already.... what I need to learn is to be successful as a professional instead of a girl with a hobby.

Today's photos is of my cat Sydney. She's about a year old, a lover and a pistol all rolled into one little fur ball. As you can see from the pictures my bed is her and my other cat Madame favorite place to sleep... leaving my duvet covered in fur. They both also love to sleep in my clothes, which leaves me covered in fur. C'est la vie! Since I don't have any children my cats are in a way like my children. Sydney was napping on my bed and I just couldn't resist taking pictures of her.

Tomorrow the Soar scholarship from Mera Koh is announced. Getting this scholarship would be like getting oxygen. I'm sure it was a difficult decision for her to make with over 200 applicants who all want this but hopefully the three woman that win are the ones that truly deserve it the most. I can only hope to someday give back and pay it forward to future photographers the same way these photographers have given back to me.

Free $$$

I've gone scholarship CRAZY! When you have lemons make lemonade. I don't have money for all these lovely workshops, conferences, trade shows or even for a better camera or advertising. One of the great things though that I have realized about many of of photographers or wedding industry peeps that I social media stalk through twitter or facebook is they are not only inspiring but also GIVING! Today's task I applied for the MAKE THINGS HAPPEN IN 2010 WORKSHOP by Lara Casey. This cute little southern bell is one I've been following on twitter for a while. I love her red hair, her positive attitude and love for everything weddings! She is such a successful business woman that I would love to absorb all of the knowledge that she has to give. I was so excited to learn she was coming to Denver for her workshop but like always I could not afford it... no matter how much I wanted to go. Oh how I wish I could pay with my devotion and good intentions!

Here is my plea to win a scholarship to the MTH2010 workshop:

I want to attend the making things happen 2010 because I am tired of putting my dreams on the back burner. I’ve known I wanted to be a photographer since high school but besides picking up a camera I haven’t known how to make my dreams come true. I’m driven and have a passionate love for photography and taking pictures of people that will make their hearts melt. I work 50 hours plus a week and that still isn’t enough for paying bills. So I’m left clueless on “how to make things happen” and don’t have the money to pay for a workshop that I desperately need. I want to be inspired, I want to get fired up, I want to be successful!!! I don’t want to be stuck at an unfulfilling job that kills my soul.

I don’t want to make lots of money with my photography, what is more important to me to make happen in 2010 is to live my dream, learn and even pay in forward to others. I believe there is so much to learn from such a successful-positive-inspiring person like you. TEACH ME! GIVE ME THE TOOLS! No matter the out come I am so excited for 2010 because scholarship to your workshop or not I am determined to finally take a stand to myself as a photographer. I have been inspired by everyone’s optimism for this year, this decade and beyond! GOOD LUCK EVERYONE IN ALL THAT YOU DO!

Perfectionist?

One of my goals for this year was to not over work myself. Well I failed at that. I think one of the reasons I didn't really make a "list"of goals or resolutions was because it sets your self up for failure. I haven't gotten much sleep since Saturday and last night it caught up to me... I crashed! I'm disappointed that I also failed in a way at my goal of doing something daily to improve my business, but I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. There will be off days, I am not perfect and that is ok. Last month at a PUG meeting Dane Sanders (AMAZING!) asked "Who's a perfectionist?" I sat there thinking to myself.. me. No one is more critical of themselves than MYSELF. I am always aiming for perfection. Well I'm passing on just one thing I learned from Dane Sanders... Perfectionism is a cancer. I am still trying to slow down, take time for myself and my dreams... AND STOP BEING A PERFECTIONIST!

Humble Beginnings

Last summer was when I first took the plunge and took wedding photographs. I always had a dream of being a photographer and a obsession with weddings that goes far beyond day dreaming of just my own wedding some day. BUT I had ZERO experience. Now who wants to hire me? So having no money (ha ha ha still having no money) to spend on advertising or having a clue on what to charge for my inexperience I posted a few advertisements on Craigslist for an unbelievable price. The experience was priceless because the money I did charge did not profit my business but just helped pay for bills. :(

So today's task is to advertise again on craigslist. I meet some wonderful couples last year; couples who gave me a chance and allowed me to create wonderful photographs that I'm very proud of. Advertising on craigslist is just the beginning... Stay turned for future plans for advertising.

Now time for bed. Oh how I struggled to do anything tonight due to being so tired from babysitting the past two evenings. YAWN. But it was worth it to help a friend and see her cute little kiddos that I adore like family of my own.

Why?

Free will, there is a reason every one of us does what we do. But flashback to high school or college admissions applications where the question of why is often asked? Recently I was accepted to The Art Institute of Denver and I was asked why photography? Obviously someone willing to pay so much for a private education must have a want for that career, (the money is what stopped me from attending AI) so why do I want to be a photographer...

It was something I realized when I worked at the mall for a portrait studio, the way a photograph touches people. Anyone can take photographs but when you make a mother cry over the sigh of her newborn's first precious smile, that is why I am a photographer. When I can see the joy, love, excitement because of my photography it gives me goosebumps and I share in that joy. There is no greater feeling than to know you have given that to another person.

My task for today was to finally face head on how much a "real camera" cost. Currently I have a Canon Rebel which I've had for about three years. I thought it was just what I needed and that it was a professional camera, but after last year being turned down for jobs because my camera was not good enough (though being told my talent was) I decided it's time for an upgrade. What camera to buy? Stay with Canon? Nikon? What about Sony? What kind of lens, flashes? I started my search online because I always get intimidated talking to someone at a retail store. I don't want to make the mistake of buying a camera that will need to be updated in such a short time again. Although I still think that it is the talent that is most important, not a camera.. my camera is holding me back. Hopefully with my tax refund or money from going back to school I will have nothing holding me back.

Option 1:
Canon EOS 50D with 28-135mm lens - $1,199.99 refurbished/$1,418.73 new
28mm f1.8 wide angle lens - $489.99

Option 2:
Sony A550 with 18-55mm & 55-200mm lenses - $1,279.99/ SALE 1,049.99
28mm f/2.8 wide angle lens - $269.99
Flash - 299.99 or 499.99

Embrace!

One of my favorite words Embrace, it goes hand in hand with love and passion. Shouldn’t we all being applying that to what we do for our jobs, doing what we love and embracing it. Photography is my love and I want to completely embrace it by learning, creating and inspiring. Day two was about being inspired. I am such an art nerd; modern, renaissance, sculpture, there’s no discriminating all art is amazing. And as much as I love art I LOVE A FREE DAY at the DAM (Denver Art Museum).

There was an amazing new art exhibit at the DAM, 17 artists were able to freely express them selves as artist through out the museum. Many of the instillations were painted right smack on the walls of the museum! Nothing makes more of a statement than one that is either permanent or temporary, or in this case a little of both. It’s sad to think that something someone poured his or her heart into is going to be taken away, but that is where photography’s beautiful meaning comes shinning through. Photography is not only an art form that is creative but also a record of that moment making it last longer. It’s nice to be reminded of the beautiful meaning behind something you love to do.

The Embrace exhibit was defiantly modern art; think outside the box, touch and feel and “embrace” art. I spend a lot of time admiring other photographer’s blogs with their recent work; this can some times be a double-edged sword. Looking at other’s work can be inspiring to get going with my dream of photography but it can also lead to copying. Of course we all want to be creative and not everyone is going to have the best idea first and although copying is a form of flattery it’s not being an original creative artist. It was great to get out and be inspired by something unique, different, other than photographs of a bride and groom. Inspiration can be wherever you find it.

Est. 2010

HAPPY FIRKIN' NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

New Year's is one of my favorite holidays. It's not just the glam party scene with glitter and over flowing champagne that I love or even the fireworks that light up the sky at midnight (although I do love fireworks.. Independence Day being my second favorite holiday). What I love is that true meaning of New Year's, much like Christmas has a true meaning beyond the wrapping paper and debt. A New Year is fresh, a clean slate, a beginning, a new start. Today all over my facebook was status updates with a glow of a positive attitudes of overflowing optimism.

This year I don't really have a resolution because resolutions always seem to be broken or more of a fad. I have been struggling to well.. survive. My life is about work and not the kind of productive work that brings you success and a happy life but work that just pays the bills, just getting me by. I am not a minimum wage by the hour worker, I am a photographer.

Call this my "Julie and Julia" project, the 365 project, a dream, a goal, a journey, my job, my life. I started this whole blogging business a few months ago but now it's time to get serious. No more dream on the back burner! Every day (yes, 365 days) I will do something for my self as a photographer, to grow, to improve, to be successful. It may be a baby step, it may be a big step and this isn't a deadline of next year I will be some super-successful-bestintheworld-mega photographer. This is just the beginning, an establishment of 2010.